Email addresses are a bit of an anomaly nowadays: they’re used to identify you almost everywhere on the Internet, but they also trigger an almost immediate conclusion about your character when viewed by others.
Here is a comparison of a few types of email, and what they say about you right off the bat. You know you’re guilty of the same thing – just imagine that you’ve read these off a resume or don’t know the person behind the address ahead of time.
| Email Address | Conclusion |
|---|---|
| anything@msn.com | I actually registered for an MSN email address, but since then I’ve used this address for so many accounts that creating a new one would be a nightmare. I also might be running Windows XP SP1 with countless viruses as a result of my stupidity. |
| sexyprincess@yahoo.com | I’m either a girl desperate for attention in my adolescence, or a guy pretending to be a girl. FBI: please monitor this account for possible sexual predator behavior. |
| guitardude666@gmail.com | I’m 14 and on the Internet. |
| uk.national.lottery@btinternet.com | Just go ahead and send anything you get from me straight to the spam/trash folder. |
| firstname.lastname@hotmail.com | I’m trying to either be professional and/or make money off the Internet, but I’m currently too broke to have a website and professional Email address. |
| firstname.lastname@firstnamelastname.com | Look! I have a website and pro email address! HIRE ME! |
| itguy@unix.com | I’m such a Unix geek that I got an @unix.com email address. Expect to not understand a word I say, and I’m also unmarried at the age of 50. |
| fanboy@mac.com | I have a Mac. That automatically makes me better than you. I go to Starbucks not for the coffee, but to prominently display my expensive Macintosh computer I paid for with my student loans instead of for my Liberal Arts major’s tuition. Be prepared for line-by-line recitals of any and every Mac commercial ever. |
| ladies.look.no.further@yahoo.com |
I’m very desperate, and lack the necessary funds for a |
| bpewoh117@yahoo.com | My ability to mash my hand on the keyboard is a testimony to my artistic thinking. Or, I just don’t care about anything and are likely unemployed. |
| l33t_hax0r@scriptkiddies.com | I’m such a hacker, that I once turned off my dad’s computer using a free remote shutdown tool (which somebody else programmed) that I found on the Internet. And my website is a PHPBB forum which I moderate. Aren’t I cool?! |
| gamer4life@aol.com | I registered this email address believing that I could do nothing but play video games all my life and never worry about anything such as bills, etc. I’m now pushing 30, obese, and realizing that I should have focused more on school than video games. My job at Wal-Mart isn’t paying the bills very well anymore. |
Now, I realize that some of these summaries are not for everybody, but are for humorous purposes.
Everybody is guilty of drawing an immediate conclusion about someone they’ve contacted before upon seeing their email address. Don’t sit there and tell me you haven’t done this also – we all have, although we’re so used to seeing stuff like this that we try to downplay it a little more.
But you still have to admit that these are true most of the time, and I’ll be the first to admit to what I’ve thought in response to seeing an email address of a person I don’t know.
Thanks for reading.
me enviaron un correo disiendo que me avia ganado la loteria ,en ingles y no entiendo el ingles por fa que decia en español si okey
@nilges WOW! Thanks for that English lesson! I’m so glad you have taught him and everyone reading the comments the proper usage of whom. Since non of us can understand it, right? Actually you seem to understand it perfectly fine. Looks like you are just correcting then to be a prick. Great job!
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For the post now!
I liked a lot of these. I think that guitardude666@gmail.com and sexyprincess@yahoo.com match 99% of the time haha.
“Whom wishes”? Really? “Whom” is properly used in many places people incorrectly use “who,” but this isn’t one of them. The rule is very simple: “who” is used when, as in this case, it stands for the subject of the sentence (or in this case the sub-clause). “Whom” is used whenever its represents an object. It can be the direct object of a verb, but it cannot DO the verb, it cannot “wishes.”