Oh, and we provide a tribute and archive of our own, too!

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Tributes
Archives
Personal Notes

The Tributes

First, the tributes: these have been seen and collected from all around the Internet, paying homage to the loss of many poorly-made, if not historic, Geocities pages sure to be lost with the service’s closing:

• xkcd.com’s Geocities redesign – we are mirroring it here, just in case the “redesign” is lost in the future.
• WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM!!! – also mirrored in case of a future unavailability, this person almost perfectly represents every other Geocities page in existence.
• Another Perfect Geocities Tribute – a great read for any person reminiscent of Geocities, as well.
• The GIF Guy’s Website (image map-less mirror here) – this site, hosted on a bare IP, is the archive of the Geocities page of the guy who created the first famous “under construction” GIF. Source is here.
• Geocities “Under Construction” Animated GIFs Collection – a memory-intensive archive of almost every “under construction” animated GIF known to mankind!

Those are classic, I really enjoyed how they satirize the “poor” usage of HTML/frames/GIFs as the old Geocities sites used to. Of course, if you want to experience this same feeling on a modern website, just jump on over to MySpace where most profiles continue to do so only with some CSS thrown in the mix.

(or, read my complaint against MySpace – the same applies to Geocities, as well

The Archives

The main archivers of Geocities are The Archive Team and Archive.org, both of whom realize that the shutdown of Geocities could potentially be a loss of valuable information.

In addition to these (but certainly not outshining them), there are a few Geocities pages a few editors here have saved during private web browsing, mainly saved due to the fact that Geocities has been rumored to have been closing for some time. There are pretty off-the-wall, just to warn you:

• RKFS Linux Filesystem Tutorial – archive of a Geocities-hosted Linux filesystem driver tutorial.
• Cold Water Extraction Tutorial – a chemical procedure detailing how to extract a liver-harming chemical from certain medicines.

The 404 error in the right frame of the page is due to the missing ad page that Geocities began to stick into pages – disregard it.

Final Notes

While Geocities is regarded by most early Internet-goers as a collection of poorly constructed (yet always “under construction”), personal, random, and terrible excuses for websites, there are a few Geocities sites that actually contain useful information, as the various archiving teams set out to preserve in history.

If you were a heavy Internet user from 1994 – 2000 or beyond, then you may have just had a Geocities page as your first website, so don’t be so fast to ridicule those who did. As for the rest of us, a simple MySpace/Facebook/Twitter/$SOCIAL_MEDIA website will suffice in the absence of Geocities.

R.I.P. Geocities 1995 – 2009

Geocities Closes: Tributes, Parodies and Archives Spring Up originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on October 26, 2009.

You might find some of these humorous, you might not, but they’re all true. Again, I apologize to our tech-expert readers, but just ignore this post – there are more to come soon. For those considering getting a kitten or in need of a good laugh, read on…

So I have a new kitten, and here are some things you should keep in mind when getting one yourself:

Declaw ASAP

My leather Lazy-Boy chair, R.I.P. Same with the carpet next to my bedroom (goodbye security deposit) and the same for my foot. Somehow, foot = creature under covers which must be attacked at 4am.

Declaw your cat/kitten. There’s a set amount of time before this can be done, but as soon as the time passes it is in your best interest to do so. Learn from me and my shredded armchair.

Anything Not Bolted Down Is A Cat Toy

I have had my keys carted away about three times within the past few days, causing me to be late to work one day. Same goes for a few things around the house, such as a salt-shaker in my kitchen.

If you don’t hide it, put it up (WAY up) and wind up “losing” something, check underneath almost every surface around the house that the object can fit under – it’s probably there. You may even find some places you never even knew existed.

Store-Made Toys Are Useless

I bought one of those little kitty-hell things I’ve always seen in Wal-Mart from time to time for kitty to play with instead of, say, my keys or checkbook. What happened, you say?

Kitty stared at for about five minutes before attacking my watch.

So its pretty much useless to actually pay for stuff. A crumpled up tin foil ball provides more fun than a scratch tree, at least until it joins the ranks of the other tin foil balls collecting under your couch.

Clean Laundry = Cat Bed

My nice, washed any dryed clothes are now covered in a thin layer of white cat hair. Put your clothes away ASAP after washing/drying them – otherwise they will become a habitat for fur. Trust me.

Spay/Neuter

And the list is as follows (for my male kitten):

• A stain on my armchair from piss
• A Cracker Jack-style “special surprise inside” of the back of my closet (A.K.A. turd)
• A puddle RIGHT NEXT to the litter box (almost isn’t the same as making it)
• A fresh coat of piss in the corner of my kitchen before work one day
• And finally, a second piss stain on my armchair.

It’s like there’s a vendetta against my favorite chair or something, if you notice.

Kitty Hungry?

Then you’re either going to feed it now, or else face the consequences (lost sleep early in the morning, destruction, being attacked in your sleep, destruction…)

It usually happens around 5am – I wake woke up at 6:30-7 for getting ready for work. First, the stare you can just feel in your sleep. Then, the soft meows. Then the loud meows. Then getting walked on several times.

Anything after that usually includes the sudden disappearance of said cat, only for you to later discover an act of destruction that took place somewhere during that time frame (usually in the form of piss or hidden necessities)

Heed My Words

They are so cute, what with their little eyes and such. But don’t be fooled – that little prick will cause destruction on a scale the likes of which you’ve never seen. The kitten itself was free, but the total amount of damage and food/litter costs are terribly expensive.

I mean, come on. It’s insane.

So take my advice if you are getting a kitten/cat as a pet. Otherwise, you will join me in the pain I have already experienced. And it isn’t fun or cheap, either. Enjoy your demon kitten.

Tips For New Cat Or Kitten Owners originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on September 10, 2009.

The whole thing is actually kind of funny, and don’t be surprised if it happens again as a result of this article: you know who to blame in that case. But we can all enjoy a good laugh at a few script kiddies, right?

Phase 1: The Comments

In the article in question that sent up a red flag at the imageboard, the 4channers (whom call themselves “/b/tards” – no joke) first decided to leave vulgar comments on the article at the bottom, after discussing the publicity amongst themselves.

Thankfully, the comments here are moderated, so we weeded out the hundreds of comments that were too explicit to post. Others, as you can see, were posted anyways, even if they were wrong or obviously a 4chan inside joke.

The comments were mostly 4chan “memes”, or inside jokes native to the imageboard. Such jokes include blaming the attack on a rival website “Ebaumsworld”, the phrase “I’m 12 and what is this?” and other “we are legion” type phrases.

Phase 2: The Flooding

After the discussion of our article escalated within the 4chan community, they then decided to start flooding the site with comments both vulgar and designed to slow the page down. So we disabled comments on the article, leaving a last note to users that we did so.

The disabling of the comments allowed the moderation queue to remain clean.

Phase 3: DDoS

When the comments were disabled and there was no longer any fun in leaving them, the 4chan script kiddies then decided to whip out little Windows programs designed to flood a server or IP with large and crafted TCP packets.

In other words, a DDoS attack.

So we were DDoS attacked by a bunch of script kiddies at 4chan using prewritten Windows programs that you can just point and click to initialize.

When school started today, the attack notably disappeared. Even the big and bad 4chan “hackers” can’t escape school, presumably the sixth grade.

So that’s why we were down. DDoS attacks are nothing sophisticated, I mean even the dullards at 4chan can pull them off using “click click click” programs. But if we go down again, you know what happened.

Later, I’ll post screenshots here taken directly from the 4chan imageboard depicting such DDoS programs in action – they get off on posting their “hacker screenshots” on the board, not knowing that they are both being logged extensively (most of them are not capable of hiding behind Tor for attacks), and that an editor of ours was present on the board during the discussion thanks to Apache HTTP referrer logging fields.

That is all, keep reading The Coffee Desk! (now officially 4chan-proof!)

Why We Were Offline: The Coffee Desk 4chan DDoS originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on August 25, 2009.

The Coffee Desk Upside-down
(click the image link for the full screenshot)

In Case You Missed It… originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on August 19, 2009.

To celebrate our 100th article, we decided to flip the entire post (and website) upside-down. If you are a weenie and prefer the right-side-up version, then go here.

˙(ʇɐɯɹoɟ ǝuılǝɯıʇ uı) ʎɹoʇsıɥ ɟǝıɹq ɐ ǝpıʌoɹd oʇ ǝɯıʇ ʇɐǝɹƃ ɐ sʞɹɐɯ sıɥʇ bɐɟ ǝɥʇ spɐǝɹ ʎpoqou ǝɔuıs puɐ ‘ʍouʞ noʎ ‘ǝɯıʇ ɹǝʌo ʇıq ɐ ǝʇınb pǝʌloʌǝ s,ʇı ˙ǝʇısqǝʍ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʎɹoʇsıɥ ɐ ɟo ǝɹoɯ ǝlʇʇıl ɐ ǝpıʌoɹd puɐ ʞɔɐq ʞool ɐ ǝʞɐʇ plnoɥs ǝʍ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ı ‘ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ uo ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ɥʇ001 ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ

¡ǝɹǝɥʍʎuɐ ǝƃɐɹǝʌoɔ ɥɔǝʇ ʇsǝuıɟ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ os ƃuıop uo dǝǝʞ puɐ ‘ƃuıpɐǝɹ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ

˙sʍǝu sʇı puɐ ʎɹʇsnpuı ɥɔǝʇ ǝɥʇ uo (oʍʇ ɹo) ʞɹɐɯ ɐ ǝpɐɯ ʎlǝʇıuıɟǝp ǝʌ,ǝʍ ʇnq ‘ɥɔunɹɔɥɔǝʇ ɹo ʇopɥsɐls ou ǝɹ,ǝʍ ˙ǝʇıs ǝɥʇ ɟo ʎɹoʇsıɥ ǝɥʇ s,ʇɐɥʇ ’sʎɐʍʎuɐ

¡sǝʌlǝsɹno ɥʇıʍ dn ʇɥƃnɐɔ ǝʌ,ǝʍ ǝʞıl sʞool

¡ɥo,p ˙uʍop-ǝpısdn ‘ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ɥʇ001 ǝɥʇ sʇsod ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :61 ʇsnƃnɐ

(dɐɹɔ sɐʍ ǝuo plo ǝɥʇ) ɹǝʌɹǝs ǝɥɔɐɔ/ʎxoɹd puǝ-ʇuoɹɟ ʍǝu ɐ sʇǝƃ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :1 ʇsnƃnɐ

sɥƃnɐl ɹoɟ suɐıpǝdıʞıʍ slloɹʇ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :32 ʎlnɾ

ɥsɐlʞɔɐq ǝqopɐ sǝsnɐɔ ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ǝqopɐ-ıʇuɐ :9 ǝunɾ

xǝpuı s,sʍǝu ǝlƃooƃ oʇ pǝppɐ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :02 ǝunɾ

ʞɹɐɯ sʇuǝɯɯoɔ (ɯɐds-uou) 001 ǝɥʇ sʇıɥ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :31 ǝunɾ

(op ǝʍ puɐ) ɥsılqnd oʇ ǝlɔıʇɹɐ uɐ sn slıɐɯǝ ǝʌıʇɐʇuǝsǝɹdǝɹ uuɐɔı-xǝ :3 ǝunɾ

ʞɔɐɾɔıƃɐɯ ɯoɹɟ lıɐɯǝʇɐɥ sǝsnɐɔ ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ʞɔɐɾɔıƃɐɯ :92 ʎɐɯ

pǝʇsod ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ǝɹnʇɔǝʇıɥɔɹɐ ǝuoɥdı pǝɯıɐlɔɔɐ-ʎllɐɔıʇıɹɔ :71 ʎɐɯ

˙ɯǝlqoɹd ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝsnɐɔ ǝɥʇ ǝq oʇ punoɟ ɔıu ɹǝʌɹǝs ǝɥɔɐɔ/ʎxoɹd pǝıɹɟ ˙ɹıɐdǝɹ ɹǝʌɹǝs ɹǝʇɟɐ uıɐƃɐ ǝuıluo ʞɔɐq ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :11 ʎɐɯ

ʎʇılıqɐlıɐʌɐun ƃuısnɐɔ ‘uıɐƃɐ pǝʇʇopɥsɐls ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :9 ʎɐɯ

ǝlddɐ ɯoɹɟ lıɐɯǝ uʍopǝʞɐʇ ɐ sǝsnɐɔ ʇǝlqɐʇ ǝlddɐ uo ǝlɔıʇɹɐ :2 ʎɐɯ

ɹǝʇʇıʍʇ sʇıɥ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :92 lıɹdɐ

oǝs puɐ pǝǝds ɹoɟ pǝzıɯıʇdo ǝʇıs ‘pǝɥɔunɐl ǝƃɐd “sǝlɔıʇɹɐ doʇ” :62 lıɹdɐ

ʎʇılɐnb ɟo ssol ʇnoɥʇıʍ puɐ ʎʇılıqıpǝɹɔ ɥɔǝʇ ƃuıuıɐʇǝɹ ǝlıɥʍ ’sǝlɔıʇɹɐ s,ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ uıɥʇıʍ uǝǝs sı sǝlɔıʇɹɐ snoɹoɯnɥ ǝɹoɯ spɹɐʍoʇ ʇɟıɥs ʇɥƃıls ɐ :lıɹdɐ

ʎɹʇsnpuı ɥɔǝʇ ǝɥʇ uıɥʇıʍ sʇuǝʌǝ ɟo ʞɔɐl puɐ sǝlnpǝɥɔs ƃuıʇɔılɟuoɔ oʇ ǝnp uʍopʍols ǝʇɐɹ ɥsılqnd ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ɹoɾɐɯ :ɥɔɹɐɯ-ʎɹɐnɹqǝɟ

ƃƃǝ ɹǝʇsɐǝ uɐ sɐ ǝʇıs ǝɥʇ ɟo doʇ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ǝɥʇ oʇ pǝppɐ ʎpoɹɐd ʇɥƃılʇods “ʇɥƃılʇou” :52 ɹǝqɯǝʌou

ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ʇsɹıɟ s,uǝɥdǝʇs ɹoɥʇnɐ :21 ɹǝqoʇɔo

uʍop ƃuıoƃ ɯoɹɟ ǝʇıs ǝɥʇ sʇuǝʌǝɹd ǝpɐɹƃdn ɹǝʌɹǝs ‘ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ƃƃnp puɐ pǝʇʇopɥsɐls ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :11 ɹǝqoʇɔo

ʇlnsǝɹ ɐ sɐ uʍop ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ ‘pǝʞɔɐɥ ʞɹoʍʇǝu ssǝuısnq ʇsɐɔɯoɔ :92-72 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

“ǝʇıs ɯɐds” ɐ sɐ ʎlǝslɐɟ ǝǝɟɐɔɯ ʎq pǝƃƃɐlɟ ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :52 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ʇsɹıɟ s,ʞɹɐɯ ɹoɥʇnɐ :42 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

ɹɐʍ ǝɯɐlɟ ɐ sǝsnɐɔ slıɐɹ uo ʎqnɹ ƃuıɥsɐq ǝlɔıʇɹɐ uɐ ‘ƃuıʇʇopɥsɐls ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝʞɐʍ ǝɥʇ uı :32 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

˙ɟlɐɥ puɐ ʎɐp ɐ ɹoɟ uʍop ǝʇıs ǝɥʇ ǝʞɐʇ oʇ (ǝɔuo ʇɐ ǝʇıs ǝɥʇ ƃuıʇʇıɥ sɹǝsn ɟo spuɐsnoɥʇ) “ʇɔǝɟɟǝ ʇopɥsɐls” ǝɥʇ ƃuısnɐɔ ‘ƃɹo˙ʇopɥsɐls ʎq oʇ pǝʞuıl sı ʞsǝp ǝǝɟɟoɔ ǝɥʇ :02 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

pǝɥsılqnd ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ʇsɹıɟ s,3ʇɹǝ ɹoɥʇnɐ ‘ʇuǝɯɯoɔ ɯɐds-uou ʇsɹıɟ :51 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

˙pǝʇɐǝɹɔ sı ǝƃɐd “sn ʇnoqɐ” ǝɥʇ puɐ ǝlɔıʇɹɐ ʇsɹıɟ ˙(ʞɔɐq puɐ llǝɥ oʇ pǝʞɔɐɥ puɐ) pǝllɐʇsuı ssǝɹdpɹoʍ ‘dn ʇǝs ɹǝʌɹǝs qǝʍ ‘pǝsɐɥɔɹnd sı ǝɯɐu uıɐɯop ˙ǝʇısqǝʍ sʍǝu ʞǝǝƃ ɐ ʇɹɐʇs oʇ sǝpıɔǝp puɐ pǝɹoq sı ǝlıƃɹɐɔ ʎuoɥʇuɐ :41 ɹǝqɯǝʇdǝs

ʇsod ɥʇ001 ɹno ƃuıʇɐɹqǝlǝɔ originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on August 16, 2009.

It’s honestly nothing but a snarky one-line commentary that usually reflects something the last few recent articles discuss. For example, the first motto was, “Pissing off both Nintendo and Microsoft Fanboys everywhere! ” because the two most recent stories at the time were this and this.

They don’t mean anything; just a bit of humor to go where most sites usually put a tagline of some sort, or as a parody of the “what you need, when you need it” cybersquatter tagline.

Don’t be offended by any of them – this isn’t a general “motto complaints page”, although I’m always ready to hear feedback. They also sporadically change from time to time – nothing is static.

The Coffee Desk Taglines originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on August 7, 2009.

The move is largely a front-end server upgrade, moving from our old (yet faithful) dual Pentium III proxy server to a 64-bit, 4 GB RAM beast that will handle the next slashdotting better.

The backend servers will remain the same, as they have been for a very long time (and spanning several behind-the-scenes upgrades as well). The front-end server, however, is a much larger move and requires some actual downtime.

The move, for the curious, involves redoing the power and network structure used for the main server HTTP proxy front end, as well as configuring NFS, TFTP booting and IP switches between the old and new server.

This new server I keep speaking of will be mirroring the configuration of the old(e) server, only with a tremendous (and overdue) processing power upgrade. In addition, the new server is considered to be “greener” than the other beast (not that we care that much), and also quieter in operation (not that you care that much).

So, we apologize for the downtime disrupting the RSS updates for our dedicated readers, and for our new readers: this is the only downtime we’ve had since the start of the site other than some slashdotting/bandwidth issues.

We aren’t like these amateur kiddie sites that go down because mommy forgot to pay the DSL bill.

So we’ll be back up in no time, and keep up with our Twitter for upgrade updates. We’ll be back in a bit, and with more articles too.

Post-Upgrade Status

Well, as some of you noticed, the move didn’t go so smooth although everything is back online now.

Everything was moved over within the 45-minute time frame as planned as far as HTTPD, NFS, and various hardware modifications went, but the database move took much longer.

Part of it was my fault. I didn’t backup the database properly to the temporary NFS storage server, and upon realizing this it became necessary to bring the old server back online again to perform a proper backup of the various databases.

Then, a MySQL permissions issue that occurred as a result of importing the database fought me all the rest of the way. I finally solved it, after scouring through various mailing lists and USENET posts, but the effort involved in fixing it was almost unexcusable.

But we’re back online now, and new articles are coming shortly. Our beautiful year of uptime took a hit as a result of the upgrade, but it was very necessary for continuing our operations here – trust me.

Down For Maintenance August 1 For an Hour (Or Two) originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on August 1, 2009.

Truth is, we want to be taken seriously. But on the other hand, a bit of humor won’t kill anybody. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to post this.

So I’ve been placing our more tech-centered pieces into the Top Articles section, while the front page is more of a mash-up of both tech and humor/offbeat pieces.

Sure, there may be a few tech pieces that never make it to the top articles archive, but all the more reason to just read the front page in general and skip past the stuff you don’t like. It sounds like a plug, I know, but its just our attempt to appeal to everybody without “jumping the shark” too much.

So this whole post is just telling our dedicated readers for tech articles to bear with us. If you enjoy the humor pieces without viewing us as less of a credible source for tech articles, then great. Otherwise, try not to let the occasional humor discredit us in your eyes – we just like to have fun every now and again.

And don’t forget – everything is categorized here, so if you just certain articles in a certain category (e.g. “News” for strictly current event coverage/commentary) then only check those sections in your visits. The front page will consist of everything you want, but more than likely stuff you don’t as well, so filter through the articles via categories.

Just so nobody starts to lose interest due to a perceived lack of focus – we’re still on target, just broadening our scope a little bit to include more humor.

Our Recent Shift In Writing Style originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on July 25, 2009.

Watching paint dry contest flyer

*remember, this is not real even by a long shot

The Coffee Desk’s Watching Paint Dry Contest originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on June 17, 2009.

We’ve gone places we shouldn’t have gone, reviewed products, covered events while telling what was really happening, and more edgy technical news coverage/commentary – and the readers have responded.

…100 times, to be exact.

The 100 comments are only the post-moderated (approved) comments out of about 15,000 spam comments, most of which were caught by the priceless WP-Spamfree plugin, which employs unobtrusive antispam tactics so the protection is transparent to our users.

But overall we’d like to thank our users for both the readership, and for putting up with our occasional crap. Keep reading The Coffee Desk!

(and you could always use the form below to be the 101’st commenter!)

Celebrating 100 Comments originally appeared on The Coffee Desk on June 13, 2009.